Last month I was banned from a mixed-race forum. I wrote about it here.
It took about a month for the administrator of the forum to reply to my request of an appeal. I finally received a response, and it was rejected.
After reading the e-mail, I slowly realized this is the end of my life on an online community that has meant a lot to me. In the 2 years I've been there, I've grown intellectually and emotionally in a way that I never would have in real life. But at the same time, I also feel like I've outgrown that community. I feel like I've already received the most out of it than I ever could, and if I were to stay there, it would be like a high school graduate hanging out at his old high school.
The good thing about being banned is I don't have to worry about deciding whether or not to delete my account. There are a few people there who don't like me, and there's been times when I was tempted to leave and never come back. Now, I feel like I've died in battle rather than surrendering. The people who are celebrating my ban might feel like they've won, but I too feel victorious because I stayed there as long as I could (instead of leaving voluntarily).
With the help of a forum member who doesn't dislike me, I posted a long formal goodbye to the community. If you're a member of that forum, you've probably seen it.